Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
