Soap is not a condiment
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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