So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
