I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
