She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
