I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
