I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What a fucking waste of an outfit
You work out of a Hotel?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
