I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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