VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
All the doctor said was why
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
