i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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