Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
