I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
