Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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