I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
