nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
