I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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