The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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