is your mom at the bar?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
