why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Semen is not good for contacts.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
