now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
