Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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