Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
