I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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