so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
How's work?
Spinning.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize