...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize