dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
They are going to name an STD after you.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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