Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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