You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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