no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
