Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
