Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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