don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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