That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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