so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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