don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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