how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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