isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
