remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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