So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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