i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
