You're my little dorito
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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