awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize