you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I love you.
Bad choice
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize