I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
