My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
