Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
His hands were made for my vagina.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
