Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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