that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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