I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
