I understand Curling. That high.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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