she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
