Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize