Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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