In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
