we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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