I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
