It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
And then he peed in my hair
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
