Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize