been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
