Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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