period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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