that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
