He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
