You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize