I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
