Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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