There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
