He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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