I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize