Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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